living the life.

the best way to end the week.

2010-02-22T00:19:00.003+08:00

tomyam awesomeness; lychee martini ice cream; swings at playground;
more catchups like this please (:

i gotta feeling.

2010-02-21T02:55:00.004+08:00

its a weird feeling, but i like it.
in a corner of my room, listening to awesome chill music; tired and sleepy.
i'm reluctant to go to sleep, cause i think this feeling would disappear, and tomorrow i'd be back to my grumpy and irritable self (as per this morning, thanks to tuition kid's mom who expects miracles after two sessions)

perhaps, chuida is indeed therapeutic.

if only i could put this feeling in a bottle and save it for some other time.

note to self:

2010-02-16T11:29:00.002+08:00

i dont think i'm a very lucky person.
hence, perhaps i should stop gambling and mitigate my losses.
and instead, catch some sleep.

voiceless.

2010-02-14T02:47:00.003+08:00

the lack of sleep and erdingers (four at the price of one!) at holland v;
work, whiskycoke/martellcoke and steamboating at 3am;
left me croaking and barely audible.

a cny without a voice, probably a blessing in disguise.
i can avoid responding to issues like graduation, whether i've found a job and how i've grown sideways. instead, i'll just smile and happily focus on eating yusheng (:

so happy together (:

2010-02-01T14:37:00.004+08:00

the silver lining (:

2010-02-01T02:00:00.009+08:00

molten chocolate lava cake with chocolate ooooozing out (:
learning more about what each other is studying
and how marketing and advertising is unethical (i find this rather hilarious actually!)

steamboat and guitar heros
scalding everyone at the table (i swear i didnt mean it, but i AM accident prone)
belting (screeching) out tunes like hotel california, la bamba and livin on a prayer

catch up session along the harbourfront with blisters on four toes
thinking about how we've changed over the past eight years
her adapting to school life in the competitive environment, me being more cynical as i grow older (but not any wiser, sadly)

thank you all for making the other half of the week awesome (:

scottish.

2010-01-28T10:48:00.005+08:00

we all need a little something to perk up our thursday morning:
like the cute scottish guy in my thurs morn class!!

the cynic.

2010-01-28T01:11:00.006+08:00

i think i'm not competent enough in what i do now and what i want to do in the future. simply said, not good enough.

no matter how fantastic your grades are or how well you can study, it doesnt mean you'll be able to adapt well or excel in the working world, for that matter of fact.

to be honest, i don't have much experience working in an office, other than that ten-week stint at kandahar road. most of my other jobs are all frontline, mostly talking and serving customers. (it's ironic. despite becoming more unfriendly, i'm diving deeper into service jobs which requires lotsa interaction with people) somehow, i dont foresee myself anywhere anytime soon.

even if you're fantastically awesome in what you do, there's always competition. people doing better than you essentially.

i dont deny. i'm upset because we didnt get into the semis. considering the amount of effort and time we spent on the whole thing, i'm rather disappointed. i guess once again, we weren't holistic and wholesome enough.

somehow, i realised i'm always getting disappointed. this is an all too familiar feeling. i hate feeling this way, but i always do.

i know we should pick ourselves up when we fall. but, i'm tired of falling.

call it whatever you want: postgrad jitters, mid-life crisis, jobless syndrome, random grumbles.

feeling gray,

2010-01-25T22:47:00.004+08:00

i'm tired.

its this sudden realisation. it doesnt matter how hard you study and how well you do, its just not a direct reflection of the future.

i need to find some meaning in my life.

i want to drown in music. go to bintan and lie on the beach. drink till i get drunk and wake up in time for the sunrise. then will i be able to step back into reality.

simply.

2010-01-24T22:04:00.004+08:00

after hearing from smu-to-be how the scholarship interview went, its a realization of how terrifying and competitive people can be - a prelude of what working life might be like? i guess everyone is for his/her own out there.

the roomie and the little boy may not be working anymore ):
i kinda dont feel like working either, the money and whats left of the nice people are the things keeping me there.

if only things were way simpler.
lets fastforward our lives to the good part already.

those days.

2010-01-23T13:16:00.004+08:00

on my way to school at an indecent time the other day, i saw my ever favourite bus - 30, and it was crammed full of school kids. boy oh boy did that bring back memories from those days.

furious but futile attempts to squeeze up the bus to get to school on time, the daily 200m sprint into school just in time for the national anthem, sleeping in endless physics and chinese lessons, chemical mixing and drawing of many different types of fruits, long hours spent on mondays and saturdays practising.

those young and innocent days, where every small little thing was maginified and became complicated. i kinda miss those days actually.

i always find it incredulous how at one point, you can be so close, but as you get so busy with your life, you just grow apart from those whom you were close to before. somehow, you can still talk like the way it is before when you see each other, though you havent been in each other's lives for the longest time.

i havent seen my crazy junior in the longest time. and thanks to the chuida thingamagick in feb, i finally had the chance to see her. we managed to have a brief catchup as she dropped me off somewhere in her minicooper. (yes, i have richass friends)

i'm really glad that despite being in different unis, we still meet and catchup whenever we can. thank you girls for the lovely heels and the top (which you girls still have yet to see!)! i look forward to our picnic at barrage (:

2010-01-18T10:24:00.003+08:00

the pmsy-stef is bitchy. extremely.

the first mover.

2010-01-17T23:57:00.003+08:00

whenever i see "first mover advantage", i'll think of prof ian, who said, "there's no such thing as first mover advantage. it just means you're there first, that's all. whether there's any advantages, it all depends."

citylink starbucks.

2010-01-16T16:41:00.002+08:00

i like the citylink starbucks, especially the outdoor seating.
it's the kind of place i can curl up with a book or perhaps imagine that the world has come to a momentary standstill as time pass me by.

i think it's time to take a new perspective in life.
i can no longer proudly proclaim that i'm young and immature.
i probably have to start to step out of my little world of make-believe and make my first brave step into the real world.

for most of the time, i dont think i'm a really nice person. i sincerely dont. but somehow, i think i've been kinda lucky in some ways in the past twentyone years, optimistically speaking. hopefully, saying this out loud would not jinx it. i've met a fair share of amazing people. the multiple part time jobs that i have done, the people are amazing (though i cant say the same for the customers).

i wonder. what life will be like six months later. how things would change, once again.

2010-01-13T22:48:00.002+08:00

damn that fyp. bloody 8 AUs.
merely 7 more weeks to try to finish it.
and it feels like we've been going round the same spot, over and over again.

ohyes, totally freaking out here.

deja vu.

2010-01-08T02:21:00.004+08:00

one year ago, i was the one flying off to hong kong for exchange. one year later, here i am at the airport, sending my dearest friend off to US for her exchange. i have faith that you'll have the time of your life there, a whole new experience awaits (:

one year ago, i went to hong kong with this girl that i barely know and this other nus guy whom i've never seen/talked to before. one year later, here i am at the airport, all ready to pick up my buddies (from hk) who are coming singapore for exchange. somehow, i picked up two girls from CU and a guy from UST. seeing them getting acquainted really triggered memories from one year ago. it's almost similar to me getting to know the two crazies - xl and zp, depending on each other in a foreign place. i'm really glad to have gone to hk with you guys, really! (:

*

i'm intrigued and well, rather amazed by, what do you call that? fate? coincidences? how people whom you know from somewhere may appear as a different person with a different role in an entirely different place?

i just realised that the singer whom i've been listening to all this time while i've been working, is I THINK, a teacher that i've worked with during my (short) relief teacher stint. i'm rather amazed, really. almost three years ago, we were working in the same school. three years later, our lives evolved around the bar.

we go round in circles, dont we all?

2009.

2010-01-02T03:04:00.004+08:00

its always at this kinda significant moments when we would take time to stop and look back on the things that we have done.

it all started with hongkong - the new environment, the new friends, the new lifestyle, the whole new experience. i'm really thankful for all the friends that i've made over there. without you guys, the exchange wouldnt have been the same. then there was the internship at dba - a prelude to what working life might be like. i wouldnt say i've learnt much in those 10 weeks, but i wouldnt say i learnt nothing too. i guess its just really different from what i've been used to, which makes 2010 all the more scarier. it was back to school, with a new job and a new language. thank you, ian for (probably) the scariest module ever.

so here's to 2010 - the unknown, the uncertainty, the future.

high on bulmers.

2009-12-24T00:22:00.001+08:00

hello bulmers.
nice to meet you.
merry xmas eve (:

-

2009-12-22T02:59:00.005+08:00

i still remember the clear blue skies, the cattle roaming the roads, the long and winding journey on the four-wheel drive, stars so near that it seemed like i can grab hold and keep them safely in my pocket, the freezing cold night with no heater at the base camp, the kids so young but taught to beg yet so easily satisfied, sitting at one corner of tashilunpo chitchatting with our tour guide

perhaps someday, i would find my way.

2009-11-28T14:17:00.003+08:00

i'm tired -

tired of people saying that studying marketing is of no use.
tired of not living. tired of not knowing what i want to do with my life.

i want to go somewhere. else.
those five months has opened my eyes to the world outside.

i want to be the curious tourist, camera and map in hand, capturing moments of what could be the most normal things in others' lives.

when i was just a little girl

2009-11-20T02:03:00.004+08:00

you see, i had all these big dreams when i was just a little girl.
there were so many things that i wanted to be when i grew up.

there was a point, i wanted to be a teacher - inspiring kids. but i think it was mainly cause i liked my primary school teachers. there was the doctor phase, with the the saving lives and helping people thing going on.

at some point, i wanted to be a singer/actress (rich, famous and influential!). how can that possibly happen when i cant sing for nuts and possess one of the world's worst cases of stage fright?

ohoh! the pilot phase, cause of some hk tv drama (yeah, that's how easily influenced i am!) i did want to be a physiotherapist, right around the time my arms were loose. there's the cruise ship or resort that i wanted to work in (hk and korean show respectively).

so can someone tell me why am i in marketing?

lets all work in a happy place.

2009-11-18T00:21:00.005+08:00

i still wanna work in a theme park.
perhaps operate one of those rollercoaster rides;

or dress up in red-and-yellow-stripes uniform selling churros and popcorn
I KNOW. one of those themeparks/carnivals by the beach will be nice too (:

2009-11-16T23:41:00.003+08:00

I WANNA GO ON A HOLIDAY

2009-11-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

squinting at the tiny address book
watching people go by helplessly

good good night.

2009-10-28T01:04:00.006+08:00

gms is over (:

we withstood 55 minutes of q&a, and thats rather long by any standards.
we totally deserve the break today!

tonight was a good good night (:
with a new jacket, mysisterskeeper, two mango margheritas, sexonthebeach shooters, goodfellas and a bunch of crazies!

smelly cat

2009-10-25T14:56:00.002+08:00

you cant help but love it (:

THE LUMP.

2009-10-25T14:37:00.005+08:00

hello everyone.
please allow me to introduce my new friend:
THE LUMP
its supposedly permanent and has superpowers of regenerating even if it were to be removed.
it does nothing really, except to hurt when one wears heels.
one more ugly to add to the list.
and the list goes on.

losing sight.

2009-10-25T10:00:00.003+08:00

i dont know why i'm doing what i'm doing anymore
i'm really tired from getting blamed for others' mistakes
boy do i envy those people who actually know what they wanna do for the rest of their lives
its a lie, you know
that at this age, you pretty much have a good idea of what you wanna do with your life

2009-10-24T03:47:00.001+08:00

forgettable, i get that.

seriously?

2009-10-20T22:27:00.003+08:00

i'm effing irritated. why is it that it's not my fault but it becomes my fault?

come to think of it, the online collaboration, with all the crazy rules and all wasnt such a disaster after all. at least it isn't when compared to booking an accomodation. so, there's an excuse for someone working not to do something, but no excuse for the one who's studying?

okay i need to cool it. its the hormones speaking.

over the years.

2009-10-11T09:09:00.002+08:00

more
angsty bitter bitchy

less
friendly optimistic happy

what happened?
oh right, i grew up.

2009-10-09T10:33:00.004+08:00

i would like to have a friend like phoebe, please.

wind on our faces.

2009-10-05T19:48:00.008+08:00

the clear blue seas, the soft golden sand.

friendly people from the dive shop, rock falls, balancing stones on stones (:

cheap booze, whacky games;

back to basics - archie comics on the deck, ramly burgers.

the holiday we all needed (:

on passion.

2009-09-27T02:30:00.005+08:00

perhaps. it has gotta do with passion.

he came back to perform on his thirtieth birthday.
and even treated a bunch of us to icecream, though he barely knows some of us.

she's been performing since sec three and she's now twentyeight.
she's busy with work and yet performs well and whenever possible.

she's the youngest there, that fourteen year old crazy junior.
she went for the ezone camp in 03 and was inspired to come to dhs.

it has all gotta do with the passion,
and the effort you put in.
i'm nothing, compared to them.

those nerves.

2009-09-27T01:26:00.004+08:00

DAMN THOSE NERVES. it's been six years, and they're still around.

i admit - i'm not great with my instrument. but, i don't think i'm that horrible (or maybe i'm in denial. damn, this happens all the time). i'm still somehow able to play finish those few songs, just that when it comes to the actual thing, with people looking at you (in today's case, with old folks not really looking or paying attention to you), i was a wreck, am a wreck, have always been a wreck and may be a wreck forevermore.

in conclusion, I SUCK (and screwed up, as per always)

this is what it's like to like doing something, but have never and will never excel in it (unless those wretched nerves goes to somewhere far far away and never comes back).

AH. TIOMAN TMR (:

po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face
mum mum mum mah

going in circles.

2009-09-17T10:17:00.003+08:00

i dont fancy dressing up in suits and strutting around in heels (now, don't ask me why in the world am i studying business). i dont quite fancy the idea of working in the real world.

perhaps i should change my email address to waitress4life_2009@hotmail.com

this, i like (:

2009-09-14T21:40:00.012+08:00

why oh why cant we find this in singapore?
love the random people who joined in the dance: the guy with the tall afro hair and the cute old lady with her bags of groceries (:

2009-09-08T00:50:00.002+08:00

i miss.

a house of balloons please.

2009-09-07T21:26:00.000+08:00

we could have done more, but the point is, we didn't.

the feeling of not being good enough, never able to be good enough.

in need of feelgoodfood/alcohol/crazyassgoodmusic.

i want to travel in a house of ballons. bah.