the cynic.

i think i'm not competent enough in what i do now and what i want to do in the future. simply said, not good enough.


no matter how fantastic your grades are or how well you can study, it doesnt mean you'll be able to adapt well or excel in the working world, for that matter of fact.

to be honest, i don't have much experience working in an office, other than that ten-week stint at kandahar road. most of my other jobs are all frontline, mostly talking and serving customers. (it's ironic. despite becoming more unfriendly, i'm diving deeper into service jobs which requires lotsa interaction with people) somehow, i dont foresee myself anywhere anytime soon.


even if you're fantastically awesome in what you do, there's always competition. people doing better than you essentially.

i dont deny. i'm upset because we didnt get into the semis. considering the amount of effort and time we spent on the whole thing, i'm rather disappointed. i guess once again, we weren't holistic and wholesome enough.


somehow, i realised i'm always getting disappointed. this is an all too familiar feeling. i hate feeling this way, but i always do.

i know we should pick ourselves up when we fall. but, i'm tired of falling.


call it whatever you want: postgrad jitters, mid-life crisis, jobless syndrome, random grumbles.